Betrayed and stigmatized
A woman's Struggle with HIV
Source: NATIONAL Monday November 29, 2004
Jamaica- She was a devoted mother and wife who was not only committed to her
marriage and family but was also a dedicated Christian. Three years ago, her
happy and normal life was shattered, when her husband of 11 years revealed his
dreadful secret.
He had AIDS.
Meet Kate (not her real name), a 33-year-old mother of four who is HIV positive.
Looking at her, she doesn't look ill but she tells a story of betrayal, pain,
stigma and discrimination.
"In 2001, I learnt that I am positive not because 1 was running up and down, I
was happily married, devoted my life to God and my husband and children but that
is when I learnt about my downfall," she said.
Kate said that her husband only told her of his illness after he was diagnosed
with AIDS.
"When he told me and I looked at my four children and me seh me a go dead lef.
the big one, because she was not his child and the children (the other three) me
bear fi him that simply mean seh dem have it too and me have it," she recalled.
However, the blood tests showed that her four children were not positive. Her
happiness was only short lived because after turning to her church for support
she was instead rejected.
"You have somebody whose mouth is not fi dem. They go out and they talk it. Then
the crowd began to roll in one by one and two by two and everybody come to see
the 'AIDS girl, the AIDS man and the AIDS pickney dem' that triggered
off my husband and he died within one week," she said.
FELT LIKE GIVING UP
She was left behind to bear the pain.
"It is so unbearable. There are times that I felt like giving up. There are
times that I feel like I can't take it any longer. People would see me and think
that I am alright but I am not O.K," she said.
She faced discrimination bravely but it became unbearable for her children. Her
eldest child, she said, who always did well in school began to fail because she
too was traumatized. "There were times my children could not walk in peace. They
would point them out and say, 'the AIDS children'."
Her youngest child was turned out of school, "the principal told me that she
could not accept my child in school because 'the parents seh', but I said to her
my child is not infected but she only said, 'the parents dem seh'. That was
(another) strain for me," she said.
Her landlord also gave her notice because he also found out that she was HIV
positive.
"My family isn't there
either I want them to be there for me. Not financially, but to show me a little
bit of love, to accept me for who I am," she said as the tears flowed.
Kate also lost her job recently after her employer found out about her HIV
status. She is now unable to meet the family's basic needs.
"Even couple weeks aback, I felt like I was going mad when my child's CXC was to
be paid. When I saw my daughter sit at her bedside, 15 years of age, and I just
felt it, I just know that she was saying... 'if my mother was not sick...' I
know that my mother would have worked for it for me," she said.
Her advice to the public is, "be loving and kind to those who you know are
infected, it is not so much as money we want but for somebody to be there to
show us how much we care. To be there for the children, to help them, to hug
them. Even today, people stigmatize my children."
The struggle continues though for Kate. Her greatest wish is to, "live to see my
youngest child (now six years old) reach her 16th birthday. I am asking God to
give me strength to let me live to see her 16th birthday."